'There's others, y'know?' They'd brushed against this topic, before. When Neph had laid out her lack of interest in sex and still tagged the end of it with the general share that people don't take it well, that she's been hit on enough times to know it as a routine.
What's there to even say to an issue so wide that it can swallow someone's entire world for hours at a time? "I don't think that's something that's just you. Or even just him, or them. It's-- the whole system." The one that tells skinny young girls like Neph to watch over their shoulders when they leave their cars at night, and then puts in sitcom jokes about how women always visit public bathrooms in packs. The one that ends every unattractive-man-becomes-slightly-more-competent comedy film with them getting the girl like it was a vending machine transaction.
Will lets their shoulders bump against one another, everything muffled in winter layers, and keeps an eye on Neph instead of Marijus while she navigates his stiletto-knife anger. The danger radiating off Marijus, the capacity to hurt someone after enough planning to make it count, has images from true crime shows flashing in Will's mind. He sees that boy from earlier, face down with glassy eyes, a line of red coming from his temple, and Will squeezes Neph's hand and leans in closer, a chill shivering up his neck.
'It's better now.'
...Because she doesn't have to watch her back? Because she has other people to help her do that. Will almost sags with relief and embarrassment, nearly giddy with the idea that Neph is friendly enough with Marijus to look at his angry face and see a welcome promise and not a horror show she should back away from fast. His hand moves in Neph's, though, their arms arcing slowly when she swings them, and it slowly enters Will's mind that she might mean-- more than just Marijus, with that statement.
He lets their steps take him a foot's width closer to Neph, enough that shoulders bump again. He's gathering up the words necessary to reassure, or to thank, or to offer that promise officially himself as well - but then Marijus catches his attention once more.
Marijus, whose anger has simmered down enough to reveal a different kind of intensity. His shoulders are tight, his neck tilted forward, and his steps are shorter and more aggressive. He looks like an animal going against all natural instinct. "Would you like to head home on your own, then?"
The non sequitor of it has Will almost tripping over his own feet. It feels like a hunter releasing prey, so no wonder there's a strange dissonance radiating in the very air near Marijus, but what--
"I don't-- want you caged after being hedged in by other people for so long." Will feels the way this rips at something in Marijus, can feel it peel apart the ribs in his own chest, leave behind sticky pain in its wake. Marijus doesn't let go of things. He's unwavering in his desires and his possessiveness, to the point of being overbearing and beyond. Will would never have considered this sort of growth even possible, but here it is.
Potentially even ill-timed - Will has no idea if Neph actually wants space right now. She doesn't feel like she does, she isn't vibrating with flight like she was before, but Will just stares at Marijus without breathing and hopes that Neph gets the underlying message that Will can see, spelled out in the air between them all:
That Marijus cares for her, deeply enough that he's finally realizing the impact of letting people go. Instead of pursuing his own revenge - because Will can still see it, the plans for hurting that boy - he's interrupting everything to try and let Neph do what she needs to cope.
It's love, honestly. That's what Will sees, and it bowls him over. He's never seen anyone look at anyone else that way, in his life, and he knows the meaning of it only from bone-deep genetic memory that apparently a lifetime of neglect hadn't quite managed to leach out of him.
Will's nearly leaning his chin on Neph's shoulder, pulled in by the gravity of the other two, mouth open and unaware.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-02-02 04:14 pm (UTC)What's there to even say to an issue so wide that it can swallow someone's entire world for hours at a time? "I don't think that's something that's just you. Or even just him, or them. It's-- the whole system." The one that tells skinny young girls like Neph to watch over their shoulders when they leave their cars at night, and then puts in sitcom jokes about how women always visit public bathrooms in packs. The one that ends every unattractive-man-becomes-slightly-more-competent comedy film with them getting the girl like it was a vending machine transaction.
Will lets their shoulders bump against one another, everything muffled in winter layers, and keeps an eye on Neph instead of Marijus while she navigates his stiletto-knife anger. The danger radiating off Marijus, the capacity to hurt someone after enough planning to make it count, has images from true crime shows flashing in Will's mind. He sees that boy from earlier, face down with glassy eyes, a line of red coming from his temple, and Will squeezes Neph's hand and leans in closer, a chill shivering up his neck.
'It's better now.'
...Because she doesn't have to watch her back? Because she has other people to help her do that. Will almost sags with relief and embarrassment, nearly giddy with the idea that Neph is friendly enough with Marijus to look at his angry face and see a welcome promise and not a horror show she should back away from fast. His hand moves in Neph's, though, their arms arcing slowly when she swings them, and it slowly enters Will's mind that she might mean-- more than just Marijus, with that statement.
He lets their steps take him a foot's width closer to Neph, enough that shoulders bump again. He's gathering up the words necessary to reassure, or to thank, or to offer that promise officially himself as well - but then Marijus catches his attention once more.
Marijus, whose anger has simmered down enough to reveal a different kind of intensity. His shoulders are tight, his neck tilted forward, and his steps are shorter and more aggressive. He looks like an animal going against all natural instinct. "Would you like to head home on your own, then?"
The non sequitor of it has Will almost tripping over his own feet. It feels like a hunter releasing prey, so no wonder there's a strange dissonance radiating in the very air near Marijus, but what--
"I don't-- want you caged after being hedged in by other people for so long." Will feels the way this rips at something in Marijus, can feel it peel apart the ribs in his own chest, leave behind sticky pain in its wake. Marijus doesn't let go of things. He's unwavering in his desires and his possessiveness, to the point of being overbearing and beyond. Will would never have considered this sort of growth even possible, but here it is.
Potentially even ill-timed - Will has no idea if Neph actually wants space right now. She doesn't feel like she does, she isn't vibrating with flight like she was before, but Will just stares at Marijus without breathing and hopes that Neph gets the underlying message that Will can see, spelled out in the air between them all:
That Marijus cares for her, deeply enough that he's finally realizing the impact of letting people go. Instead of pursuing his own revenge - because Will can still see it, the plans for hurting that boy - he's interrupting everything to try and let Neph do what she needs to cope.
It's love, honestly. That's what Will sees, and it bowls him over. He's never seen anyone look at anyone else that way, in his life, and he knows the meaning of it only from bone-deep genetic memory that apparently a lifetime of neglect hadn't quite managed to leach out of him.
Will's nearly leaning his chin on Neph's shoulder, pulled in by the gravity of the other two, mouth open and unaware.